


In This Secret Darkness

by missrainbowpie



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 05:14:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6941323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missrainbowpie/pseuds/missrainbowpie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He felt a presence join him in the shadows and settle next to him on the couch. A hand came to rest on his back, and he knew instinctively that it was her. Of course it was." A post-S3 fic in which Abby and Marcus find comfort in each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In This Secret Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> I originally posted this on Tumblr after 3x10 aired; it has since become slightly AU.

The Ark was saved. All of the people afflicted by A.L.I.E. were resting comfortably in their quarters, free from her controlling grip on their minds. Marcus Kane was avoiding one of those people. He knew he should be by her side, but guilt kept him away. Instead he sat on the couch in the empty Chancellor’s office and looked at the stars through the dirty, slatted window. Things were simpler in space. Sure, Abigail Griffin had hated him back then (and for good reason), but she still had her free will. She still had hope, and he still had hope because she _was_ his hope. Her continued belief that the ground was habitable had been infuriating. Yet she was right. She was always right. She made him question every decision he ever made. She changed him for the better, and he would always be grateful for that.

But how could he face her now? As far as he was concerned, this was entirely his fault. If he hadn’t forced an election, Pike never would have become Chancellor. If he had tried to change Abby’s mind, tried anything to get her to come with him when he left, she wouldn’t have been subjected to the unbearable pain of losing her mind. But most of all, if he had returned to the Ark instead of accompanying Pike to Polis, perhaps he could have saved her. He should have saved her. He should have been there holding her hand when Clarke ripped her away from A.L.I.E.’s control. But he arrived after it was all over. All he had now was hindsight and regret.

The darkness of night intruded through the window and oppressed his soul. His face crumpled as it fell into his hands. Quiet sobs wracked his body. He spent weeks suppressing his emotions in an attempt to appear strong, but it was all for naught. He wasn’t strong; she was.

He felt a presence join him in the shadows and settle next to him on the couch. A hand came to rest on his back and he knew instinctively that it was her. Of course it was.

After a moment, he steeled his resolve and lifted his tear-stained face from his hands. Despite the hell she had been through just hours before, she looked beautiful. The darkness didn’t feel so oppressive anymore. It felt secret; this moment was theirs alone, untarnished even by light.

She stroked his face, fingers running through his untrimmed beard. “Oh Marcus,” she whispered, eyes traveling over his broken face. “I’m so sorry.”

His dejected eyes met hers. What could she possibly have to apologize for? “Abby, I…” His voice broke and he couldn’t continue.

“What you must have gone through,” she murmured, almost to herself. “Marcus, this wasn’t your fault.”

“Wasn’t it?” he snapped. The familiar flame of anger ignited within him.

Her hands left his face and dropped to her lap. She remained silent.

“Abby, I left you here! And when I had the chance to come back, I didn’t. A.L.I.E. tried to kill you, and where was I? Trying once again to negotiate a futile peace with the Grounders. It was all for nothing!” He took a deep breath and his tone softened. “Everything I do ends with pain.” _Her pain,_ he thought, as his gaze returned to the floor.

“It was my choice to stay,” she said firmly. “I don’t care that you weren’t here by my side; you made the right choice. Pursuing peace may have been futile, but you _tried._ ”

He started to shake his head, but she pressed on. “Marcus, you have changed so much since we first arrived on the ground.” Her voice was reverent. “Now you’re a man of peace. Your vision of the future will be singularly brighter than the so-called City of Light.” She knelt down in front of him. Cupping his face in her hands, she forced him to look at her. “I love that about you.” It was a tremulous whisper, the echo of a sentiment that had permeated the subtext of their recent interactions. A faint smile crossed her face. She hovered there for a moment, then closed the distance between them and brushed her lips over his in a chaste kiss.

His mind lingered over the hint of strawberries he detected on her lips. She was here, perfect and alive, and she had just said the word around which they had been dancing for weeks. On some level he had already known, yet he didn’t quite believe. He still didn’t. A shuddery breath escaped his lips. “After everything I’ve done… How can you find it in yourself to love even one part of me?”

She gave his legs a reassuring squeeze. “I don’t love just one part of you,” she said. He thought he saw a blush creep onto her cheeks, but it was so dark that he couldn’t be sure. She turned away shyly and her loose hair cascaded over her tired brown eyes in a wavy curtain. She peeked through it to look at him. “I love every part.”

He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, marveling at the love so clearly evident in her soft features. He stared at her for a moment that stretched into an eternity. In this secret darkness, he finally understood. She had forgiven him a long time ago for the sins of his past. She forgave _him,_ the man who had sentenced her to death not even six months earlier. He still believed that all of her pain was his fault, but by some miracle, she had forgiven him for every agonizing second.

Overwhelmed by her gravity, he crushed their lips together. The taste of strawberries grew ever stronger. This was not a goodbye as before; this was the only way he knew how to thank her for the tremendous gift of her selfless love. Here she was comforting him, mere hours after A.L.I.E. had finally been banished from her mind. It should have been the other way around. He had the chance to start anew, to prove to himself that he deserved her love and to prove to her that he loved her back with every fiber of his being. He wouldn’t say it in so many words just yet, but he didn’t have to. She knew.

Eventually they broke apart. The singularly brighter future of which she spoke would begin in the morning, but for now he reveled in the present. He felt as though a weight had been lifted from his heart. The woman he loved was right there in his arms absentmindedly twirling his hair through her fingers, and he finally felt like the man of peace she had described. He slowly fell backwards onto the couch and she melted into his arms, letting herself fall with him. Her small frame curled into his side, one hand resting on his chest. The exhaustion of the day finally caught up with her and she closed her eyes. He pressed a kiss to her cheek, willing her to get the rest that she so desperately needed.

“What was that?” she asked, voice thick with fatigue, yet still twinkling with humor he hadn’t heard in weeks.

He closed his eyes and rested his head against hers. “Let’s call it hope.”


	2. In This Morning Light

Sunbeams filtered through the slats of the window in the Chancellor’s office. Abby opened her eyes to the light. She quite enjoyed the feeling of waking up with the sun, something she had been unable to do in the perpetual darkness of space. She had always been an early riser, and that habit was a benefit to her now because Marcus was still asleep, arms wrapped around her.

A crick formed in her neck. It wasn’t exactly comfortable sleeping on a couch, much less sharing it with someone else, but she couldn’t bear to get up just yet. She shifted slightly in his arms. A little pain was worth the sensation of having him so close, finally safe. Finally _hers._ She rested her chin on his rumpled light brown shirt and looked up at him in wonderment. His new wrinkles and untrimmed beard had softened his once harsh appearance, and she couldn’t help but marvel at how well Earth suited him.

His eyes fluttered open to meet her own.

“Hey,” she said.

A smile tugged at his beard. “Hello,” he murmured.

He brushed a calloused hand over her cheek and she felt a faint blush follow its path. Everything between them felt new and delicate and hopeful in this morning light. Yet everything was also exactly the same. Waking up in his arms already felt so familiar, as though they had been together for years. Time stopped, the drumbeat of danger ceased, responsibilities faded away, and it was just the two of them. This small moment became their infinity. But infinity was only defined as endless because no one had witnessed the end. Reluctantly, she pushed herself off of his chest and perched herself on the edge of the tattered couch.

He furrowed his brow and looked disappointed at the loss of contact between them. She glanced pointedly at the watch on his wrist that showed that it was almost 6:30 am. “I have patients to see,” she said apologetically. She shook out her hair, pulled a hair tie from her wrist, and drew it into a ponytail. A loose strand fell over her forehead and she tucked it behind her ear.

She stood up and made for the door, but he stood up too and caught her by the wrist, twirling her around and drawing her hands to his chest. She could feel his steady heartbeat.

“I know you want to see your patients, but…” His brown eyes briefly flickered with pain. “Abby, you’re a patient too.”

“Marcus, I’m _fine,_ ” she said.

“No you’re not.”

Her gaze settled on his rough hands still engulfing her own. No, she wasn’t. But that wasn’t going to stop her from doing her job. As much as she might have wanted to stay in the Chancellor’s office with Marcus forever, she was a doctor above everything else.

Leaning in close, his beard scratched lightly against the soft skin of her cheek. “At least give yourself an hour. The rest of Arkadia can wait while you get some breakfast and clean yourself up.”

She looked up at him with a slight smile, tightening her grip on his hands. The smells of sweat and blood were still evident on both of them; perhaps he was right. The cut on the back of her neck still ached from where A.L.I.E. had been torn from her mind. Oh god, the things she had done…

“Okay,” she said. “I’ll take an hour.”

He ran his thumb over the back of her hand in lazy circles. “Good.”

“But _only_ an hour,” she clarified.

A big, toothy grin overtook his face. She hadn’t seen him smile like that in months. “Of course,” he said. “Only an hour.”

She gave his hands a squeeze, then pressed her lips somewhere in the vicinity of his. She didn’t even have to think about the motion; kissing him goodbye was as natural to her as breathing. “I’ll see you later, Marcus.” She then turned to leave, but he caught her by the wrist once again.

“Abby, if we’re gonna do…” He gestured vaguely. “ _This._ Then there’s something you should know.” His eyes reflected the golden glow of the room and locked on her full lips. Then, with an exquisite deliberateness, he lowered his mouth to hers and took it over completely. She opened to him. The way his touch passed through her body was overwhelming, like the way electromagnetic radiation had engulfed the Ark during solar flare events. She had always felt that there was a beauty in the way the sun could destroy everything in its path. Now she could feel the heat of its rays on her back as Marcus destroyed her willpower to leave. He pressed his strong hands into her waist, drawing her ever closer, and she slid her hands under his shirt to curve along the toned muscles of his back. A gasp escaped her throat as he nipped at her bottom lip with his teeth. Then suddenly, he pulled away.

Her mouth followed his, seeking out more of that searing connection between them. She could tell that he knew exactly what kind of effect he had on her, but she’d be damned if she let it show any more than it already had.

“You said there was something I should know?” she asked, a little more breathlessly than intended.

He smirked. “Yes. I much prefer real kisses to little goodbye pecks.” He adopted the authoritative tone he usually reserved for the soldiers of the Guard, but there was an undercurrent of humor. “Understood?”

She nodded and gave him a mock salute. “Yes, Sir.” She flashed him a radiant smile, then slipped from his grasp and finally made it to the door. She was almost through it when she heard him call out to her.

“Oh and Abby–?”

She whirled around, wondering if he was ever going to let her leave. Not that she minded staying, of course.

“I…” He opened and closed his mouth. He looked unusually shy and flustered, especially after being so forward with her just seconds before. “Good morning,” he eventually settled on.

There was so much hope in his eyes and Abby was struck by how innocent he looked in the sunshine. It was obvious that wasn’t what he had originally intended to say, but she understood. “Good morning,” she replied, the warmth of her smile spreading across her face. She saw his face light up as she swished out the door and down the hallway towards Medical, a slight spring in her step. She didn’t need an hour to herself; he had already given her all the care and tenderness she could possibly need. Besides, when had she ever listened to him?


End file.
